Who is Bailey?

Bailey is my beautiful male 7 year old Golden Retriever. On Tuesday 15th October he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer with secondary tumours in his liver. He has had problems with his stomach for some time years in fact, and I was told that he had a sensitive stomach. The previous week, however, he was really ill with sickness and diarrhoea and I was so concerned that I took him to the emergency vet, who said his temperature was ok and after pressing his stomach said he wasn't in any pain, however, given his age and his stomach problems I should ask my vet to run tests on him as it could be more serious. He was still the same by Friday so my vet suggested and Endoscopy (camera down)and they saw the growth on his pancreas, a 6 inch tumour. The pain is almost unbearable and I chose to write my pain out as I felt like it was more than I could take. I also want to share the lessons I am learning through this devasting time. I want to rid myself of pain, as I want to be in place of love. I do not want Bailey to share his space with my pain. Deborah Oct 2013

Monday 21st October 2013

Bailey had a good day today although quiet this morning, he livened up late morning and wanted to play his usual game of pulling the hosepipe off the reel and running around the garden with it in his mouth. I was concerned that over the past week since his diagnosis he has not done much at all. I decided to go to the Rising Sun as there is a field there a short walk through the woods, the field always gets water logged so there are always lots of puddles - Bailey's favourite past time playing in water He had a great day - had a few runs around and it was just like him being his old self. My heart lifts as I realise I appreciate it so much more now and that every day I should live in the moment and be aware how special and precious any life is. At the Rising Sun as I took a few photographs and noticed that autumn colours beautiful leaves, goldens and reds. Red berrys on bushes, and I thought when the snow comes this is when I would be taking photographs of Bailey in the snow for my home made xmas cards. i wish I had taken my SLR and not just my mobile. At home, Bailey came inside and went to bed. We had a succession of visitors all day including his aunty Susan and my neighbours all to say sorry for news about Bailey and to give us our best. He greeted all of them and finally he got his tea over an hour late! He is now fast asleep and I watch him, I do this often when he is asleep, nothing more beautiful than a tired dog after a hard days play. He looks tired, safe and snuggly, and content. His deep breathing reminds me he is live and well and I will treasure each moment while he is.